Each Sunday I look forward to finding the 'Mini-Yogi Tip of the Week' in my inbox. Shana Meyerson does a lovely job of providing inspiration each week in a short and sweet paragraph. This week's tip involves the concept of Asteya which translates to 'non-stealing'.
Teaching children about stealing usually involves not taking things from others. We don’t take things that don’t belong to us. Be that taking a toy from a friend, money from Dad’s wallet, or candy from a store. We simply don’t take things. Asteya asks us to go beyond things. We become aware, as we look closely at Asteya, that there are lots of other things up for stealing. Time, attention, and feelings to name a few.
One of my most frustrating moments as a parent comes when an unnecessary mess is made that falls to me to clean up. I’m fine with making planned messes. I know when we take out finger paints there will be clean up involved. It’s the unexpected messes caused by lack of thought really push my buttons because they steal my time. I remember a teacher in high school saying to a student “if you are going to waste my time in class, I’ll waste yours in detention after school”. No, the student wasn’t me, but the words stuck with me. The teacher, most likely without knowing it, was commenting on Asteya. The waste of time.
Another example of Asteya is the stealing of attention. Anyone who has more than one child understands this by another name - sibling rivalry. Siblings compete for the attention of their parents every day in lots of different ways. One child is happily snuggled up on mom’s lap when, out of nowhere, comes an imaginary emergency, from a brother or sister, requiring mom’s immediate attention. Another example, that I was recently a part of, involved a visit with a friend of mine. Her super smart preschooler was determined to not let me have a moment of her mother’s attention and tried every trick she could think of to bring our awareness back to her. In her world I was the one stealing the attention. A classic case of the chicken or the egg, I guess. Who didn’t practice Asteya was it her or me?
Practicing Asteya as adults can be a tricky thing. As adults we experience ways to steal every day. At work, persuading clients to come try our services instead of staying with the same company. On the phone, we know the other person wants to end the conversation and we keep talking at them. Listening a friend tell about something fabulous that happened and then directing the conversation back to ourselves, instead of being present in her joy. There are fine lines out there that we cross every day. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not.
Once attention is called to something we begin to see it everywhere. We become aware. How does the concept of Asteya present itself in your life? How are you aware?
One of my most frustrating moments as a parent comes when an unnecessary mess is made that falls to me to clean up. I’m fine with making planned messes. I know when we take out finger paints there will be clean up involved. It’s the unexpected messes caused by lack of thought really push my buttons because they steal my time. I remember a teacher in high school saying to a student “if you are going to waste my time in class, I’ll waste yours in detention after school”. No, the student wasn’t me, but the words stuck with me. The teacher, most likely without knowing it, was commenting on Asteya. The waste of time.
Another example of Asteya is the stealing of attention. Anyone who has more than one child understands this by another name - sibling rivalry. Siblings compete for the attention of their parents every day in lots of different ways. One child is happily snuggled up on mom’s lap when, out of nowhere, comes an imaginary emergency, from a brother or sister, requiring mom’s immediate attention. Another example, that I was recently a part of, involved a visit with a friend of mine. Her super smart preschooler was determined to not let me have a moment of her mother’s attention and tried every trick she could think of to bring our awareness back to her. In her world I was the one stealing the attention. A classic case of the chicken or the egg, I guess. Who didn’t practice Asteya was it her or me?
Practicing Asteya as adults can be a tricky thing. As adults we experience ways to steal every day. At work, persuading clients to come try our services instead of staying with the same company. On the phone, we know the other person wants to end the conversation and we keep talking at them. Listening a friend tell about something fabulous that happened and then directing the conversation back to ourselves, instead of being present in her joy. There are fine lines out there that we cross every day. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not.
Once attention is called to something we begin to see it everywhere. We become aware. How does the concept of Asteya present itself in your life? How are you aware?
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